Rupture and Repair

“Man, I’m sorry you’re struggling.”

William, the camp director, was walking and talking with Jalen. He was hustling across campus to catch up with the nurse, but he wanted to connect with Jalen. 

Jalen was eleven years old and had been to camp with us before, but this year was different. Jalen was irritable and touchy, right at the center of every conflict in his cabin. His cabin leader was frustrated. The other campers were complaining about him. William was baffled. 

“I just want to go home,” Jalen pleaded, “can’t you call my aunt to come pick me up?”

William was tempted. It would be easier just to send the boy home. But at The Bridge, we believe that a rupture and repair creates a stronger connection than if there were no rupture at all.

Rupture is what happens when conflict strains relationships. Repair happens when the caregiver slows down, connects, apologizes for the mistakes they’ve made, and listens well to the child.

“Dude, I love you,” William said. “If you want me to call your aunt to see if she’ll come pick you up, I will. But can we see how tonight goes and talk again in the morning?”

Later that evening, William was able to find some one-on-one time with Jalen. They took a walk and talked. Jalen began to open up. Life at home had been rough. After a DCF investigation, he’d been taken from his home and had moved in with his aunt just a couple months before. He loved his aunt, but it wasn’t home.

William listened attentively. He apologized for not being more available. He practiced all of the connecting strategies we teach at The Bridge, and he asked Jalen for permission to pray with him and for him. 

Jalen’s behavior changed. He wasn't the easiest camper to work with that week, but he let go of the idea of calling his aunt to pick him up and he started to get along with the other boys in his cabin. At the end of the week, he reported that this had been the highlight of his year. 

Camp is an important part of our summers every year at The Bridge. It becomes a highlight for many of the kids and gives them a chance to connect with safe adults who are connected with Jesus and His people. Camp often ignites a passion to pursue a relationship with Him or deepen their current relationship. We are excited to see the life-changing moments that will happen at camp this summer! 

*Names and details have been changed to protect privacy